"Absurd (1981)" Review + Kill ranking
What's up everybody? It's been a while. Let's take a break from the sleepaway camp series and dive into another eighties horror flick "Absurd". Absurd is a1981 Italian horror movie directed by Joe D'Amato and Written by George Eastman (the movies big killer man).
Absurd is about this monsterously big man with sort of quick healing ability going on a killing spree after escaping from a hospital. There's a vatican priest in this movie who is sent to stop him and a whole slew of ppl away if this but meh dustractions. First of all I completely agree with the criticisms is movie faces. Sure the gore effects are Cheesy most of the movie but that was all about the time it was made, I'd imagine if this movie was remade in like 2000s this would be crazy good. Another criticism this film faces was that it was essentially Italian Halloween where Mikos (George Eastman) is a big tall guy that is pretty much unaffected by wounds afflicted and is referred to as "The Boogyman" and there's babysitters being attacked. I would have loved to give this movie benefit of the doubt but it came out 3 years after Halloween did, so yikes.
Some of the characters & storytelling in this movie are unintentionally hilarious and at times this made it more of a comedy to me but it kept it entertaining so i lived it. Things such as the writers idea to make no police or service workers available because of everyone watching a big football game. How a handful of doctors, police chiefs, etc and their wives all got together for a football party in full suits where they watched obviously greenscreened football while eating big plays of spaghetti or how the daughter in this movie is bedridden because of a spinal injury and strapped down to the bed and for a good chunk towards the end the little brother keeps banging on the door asking her to "hurry up and let him in" because he's scared. The movie would have been so much better with casting decisions changed and some updating in the effects department but I loved it either way.
On to the kills! Let's rank them.
6. Unnamed Biker was strangled to death on a sketchy backroad once his motorcycle dies. Wasnt much to it and wasn't even that important. So it's dead last.
5. Nurse Thelma gets a mini drill through the Skull. Overall this was a very creative kill for its time but the special facts and acting ruined terribly. You can turn your head to hide it. But we can still tell that the drill is a solid inch from the head. Also I didn't even really look like a drill just looked like a metal stick like a primitive immersion blunder or something. Cool kill shit execution.
4. Peggy with the pickaxe. Peggy the Babysitter keeps insisting to the little brother that theres no Boogyman. When she tells the yapping dog to go outside and it quickly goes silent she decides to leave the doorway and boom pickaxe through the Skull. What makes it better is later on she's delayed in a room Sleepaway camp 2 style just waiting for someone to find her.
3. Emily in the oven. Okay this kill could've been cool but effects and stuff ruined it. Emily the caretaker for the injured sister and I guess backup babysitter tells the brother please stop with these scary boogyman jokes they aren't funny but after the lights go out and she sees him herself she believes. Mikos snatches her up and shoves her into the oven (which was already cleaned out. Booo) and turns it on slow roasting her but it went in entirely too long and she survives! Only to be stabbed with scissors minutes after.
2. The Priest can't help. The whole purpose of the priest being there as he was the only one who knew of this ahead of time and knew how to take out the monstrous Mikos. He has gifted a car in order to search for him And it's made out to seem like this priest is out only hope. But you don't see him again until the end of the movie to which they find out where the house is and amigos completely strangles the priest leaving. Everybody to wonder how are we going to stop him now?. It was simple. It was effective but it's ranked at number 2 because it's a pivotal plot point in the movie which leads to the 1st spot.
1. The beast has been slayed. With the priest gone and both the Babysitters killed there was nobody left to stop mikos. While the murder of Emily was occurring. Katia manages to unstrap herself from the bed and do her best to walk user m using the wall. This leads into a various suspenseful game of Marco Polo in the house with Katia and Mikos who is now blinded by getting stabbed in the eyes. At 1 point in time Mikos knocks over the Stereotypical rich person decorative suit of armor and trips over it which leaves Katia a weapon to use after the priests is killed. Katia slings the axe down on Mikos neck several times. When the little brother escapes the house And runs to get help he brings back their patents and some friends to which everyone is greeted at the door by blood covered Katia who raises up the head of the killer. Great ending.
Once again the kills in this movie are great Just not really executed the best but given that this was in 1981 it is pretty solid. If a remake to this movie ever took place I would immediately see it.
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